Peace and Quiet
Hi Friends!Bryan just took my little guy out on an excursion and baby is sound asleep. I am basking in the peace and quiet. I am envisioning myself sitting on a private beach, anywhere but here. I am sipping on a margarita (Salt rim) while twirling my cute little umbrella toothpick and just enjoying clear water in front on me.
Wait a minute. I am still here. Sitting on a couch. In Pennsylvania. Eating "Caribbean Coconut" gelato on this cold, windy winter day. I AM STILL HERE! UGH!
You have got to understand. This week has been probably one of thee hardest weeks I have had as a mother. Let me be frank.
My children are sucking the life out of me.
I have a VERY active and sometimes destructive almost two year old. My nickname for him is "Seek and Destroy." I also have a Chronic Crier whom is a light sleeper. We will call her "Drama Queen." I am living my worst nightmare. My whole day revolves around what the next step is and how can I do it all quickly and efficiently just so I can sit down for one millisecond.
And yet until ranting to my sister-in-law (hats off to her for listening to me) on the phone yesterday I wasn't able to admit the defeat I was feeling as a mother. I was constantly feeling like I was the ONLY mom that MUST be doing it all wrong.
That is until I read this: http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/
Can I just say I feel better after reading this. This woman is living what I am living and was honest enough to say it. See I was afraid of complaining about how crazed I feel lately. So I don't know who reads this, if anyone, but I will say it to you my audience; I am not a perfect mom. Yes, I have many moments of uncertainty if I am raising my babes the right way. Frankly, I have had several moments where a screaming two year old or baby has forced me to leave the room, take a deep breath, and just cry-it-out for a minute myself.
Like this nice woman wrote, I will live for those kairos moments during the day. Those moments when we GET it. Those moments where everything disappears into the background and like this woman said I am left staring at my baby feeling like I am seeing them for the first time today. And they ARE a thing of beauty.
I guess the Lord gives us these moments with our children to remind us of his love. He also gives us these moments so we don't end up in handcuffs for throwing our children out the window. HA! I kid, I kid.